Birth | Pregnancy | Blog

I guess you could say I’ve had some experience birthing large babies. Our girls were our smallest tying at 8 pounds 6 ounces. The first of our boys was 8 pounds 13.8 ounces, the second 9 pounds even and the third was a whopping 10 pounds 2 ounces.

Okay, so not like the woman in Texas who gave birth to the 14 pounder years ago, but still, not bad if I do say so myself.

Each of them had some form of natural birth, in other words, I took no drugs at all for any of them. The most un-natural part of any of these births, I’d have to say was being in the hospital for the first two. My second birth experience was the most un-natural all together, but more convenient for my attendants. The last three were all home birth water births.

What can I share with you about giving birth to large babies? Now I realize that my babies weren’t huge, but considering that that average birth weight is 7 pounds and I am a person of average to small size myself, I think it’s safe to say my babies were large. (I can hardly imagine a baby as tiny as 7 pounds!) 1 pound makes a big difference when it comes to newborns, 3 pounds an even bigger difference.

Tips for Having a Large Baby

• First off, don’t get freaked out. Stay calm, getting nervous about it won’t help. Tension is the enemy in labor.
• Secondly, realize that it is only very rare cases where a baby is “too big” to be born naturally.
• Thirdly, thanks to the second point, chances are your body won’t grow and sustain a baby you can’t handle giving birth to.
• Lastly, if you are still uneasy, I’m sure there is some hospital staff somewhere that would be more than happy to “put you at ease,” as much as I don’t like to say it, they have the drugs, scalpels, and equipment to intervene should it be necessary or if you so choose.

Things that may help you

Besides staying positive and being calm, these are some other things you may find useful when it comes to giving birth to a large baby.

• support - for all my births, I had my wonderful husband by my side. Also, with my first, my parents were there to help, and for the third and fourth, we had close friends there to help (mostly with the other kids). For the fifth, our other kids were the extra help when needed. The support you have with you should be unwavering. If you don’t have anyone close to you willing to endure childbirth with you, consider hiring a doula, somebody who will stick it out with you and help to keep you calm and grounded.
• birthing positions - learn the optimal positions for opening your pelvis (like squatting is best, hands and knees is good also) and the positions that make it harder to birth in, regardless of the baby’s size (like on your back is the worst, semi-supine also not good).
• mantra - something to repeat to yourself that you find soothing, encouraging, or in someway helpful toward your cause.
• breath – that’s right, remember to breath. Nice, deep and controlled breathing will help you, your uterus, and your baby. I know it may seem silly now, but when you are in the middle of labor, remembering to breath in a more regular manner is not necessarily what you’ll be thinking about.

Possible Mantras

• “I’m going to get huge!” This came from Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth. She had told a woman not to worry because she’d get huge, which is true. Maybe you can’t imagine birthing a large baby, or any baby at all right now, but your cervix and vagina expand and open up to accommodate your baby’s entrance into the world.
• “Waves, waves.” I used this during my last childbirth. I’m not sure why, I guess because I had recently finished Ina May’s book and she and her colleagues refer to contractions as waves and rushes. That seemed more appealing to me, and kind of fitting since I love water birth.
• “I believe…” and fill it in with positive affirmations, like “I can do this.” “I am worthy.” “my body will release.” Whatever works for you.

And so you know I’m not the only one who can give birth to large babies, here is a story for you: Quinn - Fourth baby, 10 days overdue, big baby. Nancy, Quinn’s mom, has had babies even bigger than mine. While I don’t agree with augmentation, it worked out okay for her, thankfully. This story is about the vaginal delivery of her 11 pound baby (and she apparently had an even bigger one before that!).

Nite nite! (As our almost two year old says)
Sheilah

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Okay, so perhaps this is another post that can be applied to pretty much everyone. Have you heard that “laughter is the best medicine?” Sure, it doesn’t matter whether it’s during pregnancy, childbirth, or post partum.

Well, any pregnant or post partum woman appreciates a good laugh, even if it makes her pee her pants (although, changing those pants is harder with a very rounded belly). And probably most men that actually deal with those pregnant or post partum women appreciate seeing them happy too. I know my own husband went out and bought DVD’s of a series on TV that had me laughing so hard I was crying. At first he thought I was really upset, but once he realized I was laughing, he just wanted to see me that happy more often I guess.

Anyway, different people laugh at different things, obviously. And laughter is good for us. When I searched “laughter” in BMJ, I mostly found movie reviews (like for Patch Adams) and book reviews (mostly on the best seller list a book called Medicine is the Best Laughter). However, I did eventually find this article: Enforced humour annoys patients. Well duh, not everyone has the same sense of humor. However, there was also a response to this article from one of the creators of the study referred to. The response is called: The Benefits of Humor. Among other things, the witter points out that humor

helps a person keep problems in perspective…

Laughter increases release of endorphines, our “feel good” chemicals. According to Bottom Lines’s “Wacky” Remedies Proven to Work! (a freebie booklet we got when we bought another one), laughing causes our endothelium or the inner lining of our arteries, to secret nitric oxide which they say inhibits inflammation and blood clotting (which may otherwise contribute to heart attacks because without secretion of this chemical, arterial plaque can build up quicker).

So grab a funny book to share with your kids. We liked Freaky Friday, I had it read to me when I was a kid, and I’ve shared it with my own children. The movies was good too, a little different from the book though.

For other movie suggestions, perhaps you’d like something on the American Film Institutes’s 100 Years … 100 Laughs list. Pick up something funny and have a good laugh today. A fair dose of laughter will do you, your baby, and your family good.

Sheilah

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I’ve had about 10 different blogs dealing with nutrition in one way or another. Basically put, I’ve tried to encourage the importance of prenatal and post partum nutrition.

Today I got an email that links to a report that kind of sums up what I’ve been trying to say. I can’t vouch for the particular vitamins she promotes since I’ve never tried them, but I do trust her judgment, so I wouldn’t mind trying them sometime either.

Jen is a Certified Personal Trainer and Fitness Professional. You may have even seen her on TV. She is the one who wrote the Slim Mom Secrets ebook I have listed on the right side of the page in the Hot Spots section. I know the email intended to be forwarded via email, but I’m hoping Jen won’t mind me posting it here instead. If so, I’ll have to pull it. In the mean time, she expresses the importance of proper nutrition and explains why you need to be aware and even careful about the prenatal vitamins you take.

It doesn’t matter where or how you are planning to birth. That is why I have this listed in each category except birth stories. Good nutrition is our building block to a healthy life, for us and our babies. So, since there is more reading to do else where, I leave you with this:

Here is The 7 Sins of Prenatal Vitamins Report!

I was going to wait to release this important report until after
Memorial Day, but I couldn’t wait a second longer.

You see, after revealing The 7 Sins of Prenatal Vitamins that
many of the big prenatal vitamin companies are trying to get away
with, I’ve been getting hundreds of emails from concerned pregnant
women (and many of their concerned doctors who aren’t up-to-date
on nutritional topics).

With that in mind, do you know what’s really in your prenatal
vitamin? The reason I ask is that an independent consumer testing
agency reported in Oprah’s “O” Magazine that 50% of vitamins,
including prenatals, don’t really contain what they say they do.
Some even had trace levels of harmful toxins! Others didn’t contain
much of ANYTHING!

That’s bad enough, but the prenatal vitamin companies are also
committing some pretty huge offenses that they put RIGHT ON THE
LABEL! (You won’t believe what they’re doing.)

When you visit the link below, you will discover what’s wrong
with almost all of the prenatal vitamins out there today, and you
will learn what is the single BEST prenatal vitamin I have found in
my three months of research.

However, the prenatal vitamin that I do recommend isn’t made by
some greedy corporation. It’s made by a Doctor who is an expert in
the area of nutrition for a healthy pregnancy. The problem is, his
small company only produced 250 of these new prenatal vitamins. And
this email is going out to over 50,000 of my SlimMom Members.

So whatever you do, be sure to read the special report I wrote
by visiting the link below now. At the very least, at least skim it.
You’ll have a head start on everyone else who is already on their
extended Memorial Day Weekend.

Here’s that link: (You may have to cut and paste it into your
address bar)

http://clicks.aweber.com/z/ct/?O.eYb.jyYznIMJBy.XIIjw

With Urgency,

Jen Polimino

P.S. Please do everyone a favor and forward this email to all of
your pregnant friends–even if they’re just thinking about getting
pregnant. It’s that important.

Please, check it out and check your vitamins. You don’t have to use the same ones Jen does, but be aware if you should be getting something better anyway.

Sheilah

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Today’s book review I’m going to tell you about another book by an experienced mom. Not a doctor, midwife or nurse. Actually, this mom has sort of a colorful background including law degrees, a Playboy centerfold, TV producer, talk show host, and the wife of a music industry executive. Intrigued?

I have also seen her book on one of my favorite TV shows, Friends. It’s called: The Girlfriend’s Guide to Pregnancy by Vicki Iovine

While it is somewhat informational, that is not it’s strongest point in my eyes. One of my favorite things in her book are the little notes to or about expecting dad’s (which I doubt to many of them ever actually read). For example, she suggests that the new daddy shows up with a gift for the mommy shortly after the baby is born to show his appreciation for the chore she just accomplished. Bear in mind if you point this out to your significant other, appreciation is shown in many ways. For example, I’m using my “gift” right now, but it was gotten before the baby was born. Also, my sweetheart, (he really is too) always makes sure I’m eating well and taking my vitamins. He’ll cook for me just to make sure I get a decent meal because he knows I don’t cook well at all but will “suffice” just to eat something.

I take her pain perspective with a grain of salt because I don’t consider labor necessarily painful for everyone. I think it is partly mind over matter, part perception of pain, part pain tolerance, and has to do with beliefs and expectations. So I think it’s wrong to tell women “Yes it hurts, you’ll want the drugs, so be nice to the doctor.” Which isn’t exactly how she puts it, but she does say it will hurt.

She discusses lots of other things that you typically won’t get from your prenatal care provider, like the possible fears your husband may have, the comfort items you might want to bring to the hospital (if you are birthing in a hospital), and the realization that you aren’t going to instantly return to your pre-pregnancy size once you’ve had your baby. (I know that is a big bummer, I just had my 5th, and my pregnant belly was bigger with each one!)

So if you are into the whimsical side of pregnancy and childbirth, this might be an entertaining book for you to read. The Girlfriend’s Guide to Pregnancy.

Tah-tah for now.

Sheilah

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Creating a positive birth experience isn’t as hard as some people would have you think. First off, it is partly a matter of perception. What is your ideal birth experience?

I’d say I just had my best one. It was my quickest progressing, relatively easy, no actual pain to speak of (just discomfort from contractions), and not even the dreaded “ring of fire.” It didn’t happen by mistake, it’s something I’ve worked on. Yes, I feel blessed, and no, I don’t think it was luck.

Have you ever seen The Secret? Well, in that movie, they tell you “What you think about, you bring about.” They speak of the importance of visualization, and actually feeling the experience as well. They even discuss people throughout history that have applied this so called “power of attraction.”

Before I ever saw The Secret though, I read Unassisted Childbirth. Similarly, Laura Kaplan Shanley has a chapter called Personal Beliefs and Expectations which also quotes all kinds of people and their stories and how they seemed to bring about what they were thinking about.

And even long before her there was Dr. Grantly Dick Read who observed that the beliefs women had about childbirth greatly affected the outcome of their labors.

So why all the hubbub?

There must be something to it, don’t you think?

If it is so simple, then why don’t more women have the type of birth experience they want?

Truth be told, sometimes it is hard to overcome all the negative things we are fed about childbirth, it may take a little “re-conditioning” because our society as a whole has been programmed through media and medicine to believe that labor is a dangerous and painful thing, nothing like the natural wonder it really is.

Now as a kid, I always knew I created my own future. Religion has nothing to do with it. Yes, I happened to go to church with my folks, but I have always liked the phrase, “God helps those who help themselves.”

In other words, you can’t reap (harvest) what you haven’t sown (planted). If you want your garden to grow, you have to start by planting something. It doesn’t matter what race, religion, or creed you are, you get out of it what you put into it. So thanks to civilized society, it now takes a little more effort for us to have positive birth experiences.

Faith and belief are wonderful, and very important to creating a positive birth experience. However, it isn’t necessarily faith and belief in God that will get you through. It’s faith and belief that you are going and deserve to have the type of birth experience you desire and then, most importantly, taking the actions to make it happen.

Laura Shanley and The Secret both point out that if you dwell at all on the negative, that is where your energy and focus are, and that is likely to be the experience you will get. These are not the only sources that place importance on faith and belief though.

Ina May Gaskin also accounts several stories where women held onto a fear of some sort which delayed their progress in labor. Once their fears were realized and “released,” their labor was able to progress well again. This is something I did here on this very blog, I shared my home birth water birth fear. Then I was able to discuss it with my husband, and then I was able to let it go. And that problem never came to be.

Hidden beliefs and expectations can affect us too. That is why one of the things Laura Shanley did while she was pregnant was to look for limiting beliefs that might prevent her from having a good birth. She also details many other things she did during pregnancy, childbirth, and afterwards.

In the chapter about beliefs and expectations, Shanley points out the negative things we need to get rid of and the positive things we need to hold close. The negative beliefs being fear, shame, and guilt. The positive beliefs being faith, forgiveness, hope, patience, persistence, humility, love, and courage.

When you can find and release those negative beliefs and feelings, and find and hold on to the positive beliefs and feelings, you will be well on your way to a positive birth experience.

Now I don’t mean to go and sugar coat things. You should still be informed while keeping in mind that genuine “horror stories” about pregnancy and childbirth are really quite rare. Bad news tends to travel faster than good news though, so we seem to be plagued with the bad things which really rarely occur.

Even breech babies can be delivered naturally and without further complication.

The practice of releasing negative thoughts, feelings, and beliefs and focusing of positive thoughts, feelings, and beliefs can be applied to any and every part of your life, including pregnancy, childbirth, and post partum.

Having trouble seeing the light?

In The Secret, they suggest you start by being (and listing) thankful for what you have. There must be something you can be thankful for, even if it’s just that you had a slice of bread to eat and some water to drink. There is always something somewhere, even in the bleakest situation. This is a good practice for quarreling couples too, to list all the things about each other you actually like and are thankful for.

So I think I’ll make that today’s “assignment.” No reading today, unless you want to go find positive birth stories yourself, but make a list of what is right with you. What are you grateful for? What makes you feel good? And then slowly progress into the things you will be thankful for and that will make you feel good. Maybe a great check-up, a head down baby, an easy transition, a breeze of a natural birth labor.

What the mind of man [humankind] can conceive and believe, it can achieve.

- Napoleon Hill, author of Think and Grow Rich

Sheilah

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As you probably already know, I place great importance on getting all the information you can about childbirth and pregnancy. I really feel it is vital for the type of birthing experience you want for yourself and your baby. Being properly informed will help you make better decisions and help lead you to the best and safest experience you and your baby can possibly have.

Websites

I’d like to think that you’ll find everything you need right here, but this blog, our forum, and site are all still new and “under construction.” Plus, it’s about bringing experts to you, which means sometimes I need to take you (via this site) to them.

I occasionally will link to websites that I feel really have something of value to them. I do this because I consider them part of our team of experts here to serve you. There are hundreds, maybe thousands of experts out there, but finding the ones who are open enough to different ideas and who truly understand the human body and genuinely want to help you have your ideal birth experience, are far and few between. Most are rather generic and out to line their own pockets or are somehow supported by an unethical means (they are obviously being paid to blast into somebody’s certain perspective or choices about childbirth).

The good news is, that helps the more valuable sites stand out when you find them.

I have linked to a few websites in my posts which I feel hold value to people truly wanting to get informed in all aspects of childbirth. To date, the only profit I get from linking to anything would be if you were to follow one of my links to Amazon and buy something there, otherwise, you can rest assured I link to the other sites because I really feel they are good sites to link to for your own benefit.

Some of my favorite Web Sites:

• birthwithsol.com - happens to carry the La Bassine
  birthing pool I used for my most recent water birth at home. They also have loads of natural products and remedies. I’d say this is definitely a “natural birth friendly” site.
• unassistedchildbirth.com - also very natural birth friendly, this site I find great for encouragement and realization of the potential to be had from the most natural ways of birthing that there are. This is where I got my first book(Unassissted Childbirth that really led me on this wonderful journey of self-education and empowerment. I create my own future, thanks in part, to this site.
• homebirth.org.uk - a.k.a. Home Birth Reference Site. Here you can find stories, studies, and information about home births directed at both expecting parents and prenatal professionals seeking information and ideas. They also have a page dedicated to most if not all of those “what if” questions like previous cesareans, age, number of babies had or expected, and so on.

I know these are only a few. They aren’t even a handful of what is out there. In future posts, I’ll share some forums and other blogs that I like as well, if I can manage to narrow them down.

In the mean time, here’s a story for you: Persephone’s birth, by Bel, from the home page, scroll down to “Home Birth Stories” and click on that link, then click on the first name listed on the left hand side of the main page, “Bel.” I’m sorry getting there is complicated. I’m hoping the link will work to go right to the page, but it doesn’t look like it will, hence my further instructions.

This story is great because this poor woman kept having one problem after another pop up during pregnancy, but she did her footwork and had herself a wonderful home birth despite “the odds being against them,” so to speak. If you have been having any doubts or troubles, perhaps this story will give you the lift you need. Enjoy.

Sheilah

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